Wit & Wisdom

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 10:21 am

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:12 pm

One must live the way one thinks,or end up thinking the way one has lived.

French novelist Paul Bourget,quoted in the Charlotte,N.C.,Observer

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 8:35 pm

True happiness is knowing you're a hypocrite

Musician Ivor Cutler,quoted in the London Guardian

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:03 pm

A clever man commits no minor blunders.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe,quoted in the Augusta,Georgia ,Chronicle

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 5:38 am

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural..... :?:

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 10:50 am

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Mon May 01, 2006 9:14 am

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 02, 2006 10:52 pm

Writing and travel broaden your butt if not your mind.

Ernest Hemingway,quoted in Forbes.com

BubbleGumTiger · Post by **BubbleGumTiger** » Wed May 03, 2006 7:34 am

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu May 04, 2006 9:12 am

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm,Winston Churchill,quoted in the Boston Rouge Advocate

Post by **noreply66** » Thu May 04, 2006 12:18 pm

French is wonderful;you can speak it when you are drunk!"

Norman Mailer,quoted by syndicated columist Liz Smith

Post by **noreply66** » Thu May 04, 2006 6:41 pm

Charm is the ability to solicit the answer-yes- before the question has been posed.

Artist Jean Cocteau,quoted in the London Evening Standard

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 05, 2006 8:27 am

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.

Writer James Thurber,quoted in the Los Angeles Times

BigMcCauley55 · Post by **BigMcCauley55** » Fri May 05, 2006 8:28 am

Its funny until someone gets hurt then its halirous

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 05, 2006 12:56 pm

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself

Actress Ethel Barrymore,quoted in Salon.com

Post by **noreply66** » Fri May 05, 2006 1:25 pm

To know another language is to have a second soul

Medieval emperor Charlemagne,quoted in The Jewish Week

Post by **noreply66** » Sun May 07, 2006 9:25 am

Without promotion, somthing terrible happens:nothing!

P.T.Barnum,quoted in the Portland,Oregon Business Journal

Post by **noreply66** » Sun May 07, 2006 10:11 pm

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

Thomas Jefferson,quoted in The Washington Post

Post by **noreply66** » Mon May 08, 2006 2:01 pm

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Theater producer Billy Rose,quoted in Forbes

Post by **noreply66** » Tue May 09, 2006 8:43 am

The best mirror is an old friend

English poet George Herbert,quoted in the Fort Wayne,Ind.,Journal-Gazette