Bad Week For

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 8:51 pm

New ways to meet girls,after a student at the University of Central Florida was charged with setting fire to his dorm in order----he later told police---to meet female students as the building was being evacuated.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:32 pm

Curiosity, after a Brazilian man attempted to open a rocket-propelled grenade he'd found in a scrap yard by hitting it with a sledgehammer,with immediatly fatal consequences.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:12 am

Sensitivity, after a Welsh jewelry company fired an employee by sending her a text message."We are a youth business and our staff are all part of the youth culture that uses[text] messaging as a major means of communication," explained the store's director.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:42 pm

Patients,after the New Hampshire Board of Medicine dropped charges against a doctor who advised a white woman she was now so obese she might be attractive only to black men.Dr. Terry Bennett had also suggested that another patient shoot herself following brain surgery.The board ruled that Bennett was simply exercising his right to free speech.

Post by **noreply66** » Sat Aug 26, 2006 9:13 am

TOLERANCE AND DIVERSITY,after Australian scientists called upon the nation's farmers to report all ugly sheep.The goal is to identify the genes responsible for bare patches,uneven wool,and highly wrinkled skin and,ultimately,to purge imperfection from the national flock.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Aug 27, 2006 7:18 pm

Caped crusaders, after Scottish police pulled over a drunken driver and recognized him instantly by his clothing as Batman,the fictional crime-fighting vigilante. Slumped in the passenger seat was a visibly intoxicated Superman.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Aug 29, 2006 8:05 am

Gentle landing,after a booklet distributed by bankrupt Northwest Airlines advised its soon-to-be-terminated employees,looking to save money,not to be "shy about pulling something you like out of the trash.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:11 am

Spontaneity,after the city of Las Vegas announced that marriage licenses will no longer be obtainable the hours of midnight to 8 a.m. You are talking to one unhappy girl right here said Charolette Richards,president of the Little White Wedding Chapel,which hosted Britney Spear's drunken,small-hours wedding to Jason Alexander in 2004.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:56 am

50 passengers bound for Winnipeg, who watched for 10 worried minutes as the pilot of an Air Canada flight banged on the cockpit door after locking himself out during a bathroom break. The crew finally took the door off its hinges,and the pilot then safely landed the plane.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:08 am

The Arts,after a squirrel threw itself into the bicycle spokes of Finnish opera Esa Ruuttunen as he pedaled to rehearsal at Helsinki Opera House. Ruuttunen was thrown from the bicycle and sustained a broken nose and a concussion.The squirrel died.

Post by **noreply66** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:12 pm

50 million readers, after the Vatican's chief exorcist decried the popularity of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter novels because they glorify magic."Behind Harry potter hides the signature of the king of the darkness---the devil,"said Rev. Gabriele Amorth.

Post by **noreply66** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:48 pm

Riding Dirty,after Willie Nelson's tour bus was stopped by Louisianna police,and a cloud of marijuana smoke allegedly wafted out the door.A search uncovered 1.5 pounds of pot and a stash of "magic" mushrooms.

Remember_The_Name · Post by **Remember_The_Name** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 8:50 am

sKINY dIPPING, ITS A LIL COLD OUT

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:15 am

Airport secutity,after a British man was allowed to board a plane in London after he mistakenly showed security guards his 2-year-old daughter's passport. The guards examined the passport twice without noticing that the photo was of a toddler.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:18 pm

Idol worship,after a retired Kansas City man who reveres Oprah Winfrey spent $65,000 on buttons and bumper stickers calling on the talk-show goddess to run for president.Winfrey's lawyers threatened to sue him for copyright infringement.

Post by **noreply66** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:51 am

Blokes, after the famously manly menfolk of Australia,still reeling from the death of crocodile hunter Steve Irwin,were accused by former Labor Party leader Mark Latham of having turned into a bunch of "nervous wrecks,metrosexual knobs,and toss bags."

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:29 am

House arrest ,after a British man serving his sentence for drunken driving snipped off his electronic ankle tag,reattached it to his dog's hind leg and went out drinking with his buddies.

Post by **noreply66** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:28 pm

Tough love,after Utah officials charged Lemuel and Julia Redd with kidnapping their 21-year-old daughter to keep her from attending her own wedding the next day.When she was released,Julianna Redd married her intended anyway and agreed to press charges.

Post by **noreply66** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:24 pm

Saddam Hussein,after a 60 minute investigation found the deposed dictator's name on the federal No Fly list.Also likely to encounter problems during check-in are 14 of the 19 Sept. 11 hijackers,who, thought deceased,are on the list for their documented history of in-flight misbehavior.

Post by **noreply66** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 8:02 am

Prenatal Care,after British health officials found that some teenagers are deliberately smoking during pregnancy so as to decrease the birth weight of their fetuses and thus mitigate the pain of giving birth.Childbirth is no less painful if your baby is low weight,said health minister Caroline Flint. Smoking is not the answer,