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Keeping secrets,after a sanitation worker found a discarded itinerary of an upcoming presidential trip to Florida in a Washington,D.C.,trash can.The pile of White House documents listed arrival and departure for Air Force One,every passenger's name,and the order of vehicles in the presidential motorcade.

Romantic views of nature--after a sloth bear mauled a macaque monkey before horrified visitors at a Dutch zoo,then dragged the monkey's bloody body to his den,where he and two other bears devoured it."They are,and remain,wild animals,"said a zookeeper.

Discretion---after a Houston high school teacher asked his principal for permission to escort a 17-year-old student to her prom as "a family friend." Curious school officials investigated,and Sean Eckman,29 resigned when he was charged with having an affair with the student.

noreply66 wrote:Discretion---after a Houston high school teacher asked his principal for permission to escort a 17-year-old student to her prom as "a family friend." Curious school officials investigated,and Sean Eckman,29 resigned when he was charged with having an affair with the student.

Oh my goodness!

Dumbness never seems to end!

Unfortunate Choices of words---after presidential advisor Karl Rove claimed the Bush administration was doing "a heck of a job" on illegal immigration.

Someones karma---after determined thieves somehow stole a 600-pound concrete statue of the Buddha from a Florida Japanese restaurant.

Unhealthy eating----after British factory workers making french fries from potatoes harvested from World War I and II battlegrounds in Belgium found a shell and a live hand grenade among the spuds.

Living in sin,after the town of Black Jack,Mo.,refused to issue a certificate of occupancy for a home bought by an unmarried couple with three children." We figured something was wrong," said homeowner Oliver Shelltrack, "When they asked for the children's birth certificates and a marriage certificate."

noreply66 wrote:Feminism,after a new high school textbook in the Indian state of Rajasthan compared housewives to donkeys."In fact,the donkey is a shade better," the textbook instructs. "You'll never catch a donkey being disloyal to his master."

Hilarious.

I know it's bad for Al Zarqawi(spelling) he's DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in Iraq.

The stock market....

Eardrums--as Paris Hilton announced that her first album will feature reggae,hip-hop,and pop songs."I have always had a voice," Hilton said." When I finally let go,I realized it is what I am most talented at.

How many records will she sale lol?

Pete Townshend's reputation--After National Review named the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" No. 1 on its list of rock songs with conservative lyrics. The Beatles' "Taxman" was No. 2.

Free upgrades,after a Kentucky man found a 2-foot-long python draped across the gearshift of his rental car.He thought the python was rubber,gave it a pat,and drove off,at which point the snake lifted its head.

Paparazzi--after Nicole Kidman spent roughly $300,000 hiring every available helicopter in Sydney for the day of her June 25 wedding to singer Keith Urban.To further thwart celebrity photographers,the ceremony will be held at night.

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