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Post by noreply66 »

A Pennsylvania great-grandmother robbed a bank and led police on a low-speed car chase,says the National Examiner.Wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers ski mask and brandishing a handgun,Marilyn Devine,75,held up the National City Bank,then made off in a tan Ford Escort,clocking speeds of up to 45 mph before police pulled her over.'It's unreal," says West Mifflin Police Chief Joe Popovich."She probably could be anybody's grandmother ." Devine says she "just had a mental breakdown."


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Britney Spears' lack of modesty caused a confrontation with fellow guest at a Maui hotel.Spears 24,who is rumored to be pregnant with her second child'spent days parading around the pool in a tiny bilini top so revealing that the other young moms grew incensed."You've got so much money," one woman finally called out,"why don't you buy a bathing suit that fits you?" Spears suggested that if the woman and her kids didn't like seeing her boobs they find a different hotel.


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A frustrated German housewife called the police to make her husband stop watching pornography.The unnamed 44-year-old tearfully reported an "emergency." When police arrived,the woman led them to her husband,46,who was sitting in front of the television watching an adult film."Nothing will move him,"the woman reportedly explained." Not even if I offer him the real thing."Though sympathetic,the officers explained there was nothing they could do.


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A judge has ordered a German man to stop bursting into laughter in the woods. Accountant Joachim Bahrenfeld was taken to court by one of several joggers who say their runs have been disturbed by Bahrenfeld's deafening squeals of joy.He faces up to six months in jail if he gets caught again.Bahrenfeld,54,says he goes laughing in the woods nearly every day,to relieve stress."It's part of living for me" says Bahrenfeld,"like eating,drinking and breathing."


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Tom Cruise's latest gift to pregnant Katie Holmes is a custom-made rubber pacifer,says Star,As a Scientogist,Cruise believes that a mother's screams during childbirth can traumatize the infant.According to a source close to Holmes,Cruise recently visited an orthodontist and "commissioned an adultsized-binky- for her to clench between her teeth,hoping that it'll squelch her screams." For additional insurance,Cruise also wants to display large-print signs around the delivery room,reminding Holmes to stay quiet.

This one is a little late????


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A Russian man brushing his hair after a night of drinking was surprised to find the tip of a 4-inch metal nail protruding from his head. The unnamed 40-years-old calmly took himself to hospital,where he told doctors he coud not recall how the nail got there."Head traumas are often accompanied by amnesia," said lidus Saitoy,one of the neurosurgeons who removed the nail.He said the man's high blood-acohol level had helped save him,by preventing him from feeling pain from the nail and going into shock.


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A plane full of passengers bound for a British airport was stranded in mid-air last week,says the London Mirror,because an air-traffic controller was enjoying a tea break.The Thomson Airlines flight was preparing to land at Cardiff Airport in Wales when the captain's voice came over the intercom explaining that the plane couldn't start its decent until the controller "came off his break," passenger Ken Jones said."Because it was April 1,I thought it might have been a practical joke,"Jones said.But then the plane circled for half an hour before landing.


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Michael Douglas,61 resorts to vocal impressions to excite his wife,36-year-old actress Catherine Zeta-Jones,says the London Sun.Zeta-Jones reportedly goes wild whenever Douglas dims the lights in their bedroom and talks dirty to her in another man's voice.Douglas says that Zeta-Jones,who was born and raised in the valleys of Wales,is particularly responsive to Welsh accents.You close your eyes and put on a Richard Burton accent maybe ,says Douglas.it gives a little variety,the spice of life.


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A 3-year-old German girl has turned in her father to police. Dieter Brauer,33,was on the run after fleeing police during a traffic stop.Having noted his license plate,however,police were able to find Brauer's house.Just as his wife was explaining that Brauer was not at home,the couple's daughter Hannah,3 interrupted with the words "Daddy is here" and led police to where Brauer was hiding in the basement."I can't be angry with her,"said Brauer,who now faces speeding charges."She was just doing what we've always told her and that's not to tell lies."


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A North Carolina couple,whose beautiful,self-built home was recently featured in a Charlotte,N.C.,Observer article,was surprised when 3,000 gallons of raw sewage erupted from the toilet."It was like we'd struck a small oil well," said Meg McCormick."It wasn't oozing.It was shooting." The gusher,caused by city workers using a pressure hose to clear a sewer line,lasted 55 minutes.Meg and her husband,Mac,are now staying in a motel,and are demanding that the city pay the estamted $150,000 it will take to clean,deodorize and remodel their home.


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Mick Jagger and President Bush both sought the same luxury Vienna hotel suite,and the rock star won,says the London Sun.Presidential aides tried to book Bush into the $5,000-a- night Royal Suite at Vienna's Imperial Hotel for a June summit meeting,but were told that it had already been booked by the Stones.The White House asked the band to relinquish the suite,but Jagger,no fan of Bush's refused."Bush's people seemed to be under the impression that they would just hand over the suites," said an insider,"but there was no way Mick was going to do that.


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For the fourth time,a California carpenter is facing criminal charges for working in the nude.Percy Honniball,50,says he enjoys the "full range of motion"that being naked provides."It comfortable," he says,"especially on a warm day." In the most recent incident,he was arrested after he went out to get some tools from his truck and began sawing wood in the front yard.


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noreply66 wrote:For the fourth time,a California carpenter is facing criminal charges for working in the nude.Percy Honniball,50,says he enjoys the "full range of motion"that being naked provides."It comfortable," he says,"especially on a warm day." In the most recent incident,he was arrested after he went out to get some tools from his truck and began sawing wood in the front yard.


How Gross!!!

I wouldn't mind it though if it were TigerTownTurkey!!!

;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)


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Post by bulldog21 »

noreply66 wrote:Michael Douglas,61 resorts to vocal impressions to excite his wife,36-year-old actress Catherine Zeta-Jones,says the London Sun.Zeta-Jones reportedly goes wild whenever Douglas dims the lights in their bedroom and talks dirty to her in another man's voice.Douglas says that Zeta-Jones,who was born and raised in the valleys of Wales,is particularly responsive to Welsh accents.You close your eyes and put on a Richard Burton accent maybe ,says Douglas.it gives a little variety,the spice of life.


A chick that likes roleplay? How can you go wrong? lol.


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bulldog21 wrote:
noreply66 wrote:Michael Douglas,61 resorts to vocal impressions to excite his wife,36-year-old actress Catherine Zeta-Jones,says the London Sun.Zeta-Jones reportedly goes wild whenever Douglas dims the lights in their bedroom and talks dirty to her in another man's voice.Douglas says that Zeta-Jones,who was born and raised in the valleys of Wales,is particularly responsive to Welsh accents.You close your eyes and put on a Richard Burton accent maybe ,says Douglas.it gives a little variety,the spice of life.


A chick that likes roleplay? How can you go wrong? lol.


I love to roleplay. I just wish I looked like Catherine Zeta-Jones!!
Why does she want to be with that old wrinkled up guy anyway?


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Post by noreply66 »

An Australian man cutting down a tree had his chain saw stolen by a crocodile.Freddy Buckland was clearing fallen trees near a saltwater crocodile enclosure outside Darwin when a 14-foot crocodile named Brutus suddenly surged out of the water,grabbed the still-running saw in its mouth ,and ran off with it."he chewed on the chain saw for about an hour and a half,then we finally got it out,"said Buckland.It's still in one piece,but yeah,its buggered."


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Sienna Miller is taking herbs to enlarge her breast,says Britain's Grazia magizine.The 24-year-old actress turned to the alternative remedy after she lost weight for a movie role and her bra size dropped to 32B."I don't even need a bra now,"Miller complained to friends at the time,"It'd be wonderful to have some womanly curves again."The special pills she's taking cost roughly $370 a bottle,and the manufacturer claims they can enlarge breast by a full cup size.They contain a blend of fenugreek,yam root,kelp,and fennel seed.


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Post by The Instructor »

People are just plain crazy.


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An Argentine parrot has been released from prison after five days under police interrogation. The ,bird named Pepo,was the subject of an ownership dispute between two men.A judge had ordered Pepo detained until he squawked out the name of his true owner.Five days later ,Pepo called out the name "Jorge," and even sang the anthem of soccer team San Lorenzo,of which his owner,Jorge Machado,is a fan. "I knew he wasn't going to let me down,"said Machado."He is a real friend and we support the same football team.


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A bridesmaid reaching out to catch the bouquet at a wedding in Texas was struck by a stray bullet instead.The bullet hit maid of honor Kristin Campbell in the upper arm,then fell out onto the dance floor."I didn't hear anything,"said Campbell,who wasn't seriously injured."I just knew I had a hole in my arm." The shot was later determinved to have been fired randomly into the air from a mile away."Apparently," said Campbell,"some man was upset.


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