Okay the devil made me do this

[orange-n-brown 365]

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you"

"Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep and eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on to the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half and hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"






KEEP READING



















Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

[orange-n-brown 365]

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
' My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.'
The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again

and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.'
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.

'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.'
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will you knock it off,
I'm trying to poop!'

[Orange and Brown]

funny

[jeepgirl_4life]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution, 10 Miles.

He thinks it's a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign, which says: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution, Next Right.

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: Sisters of St. Francis.

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?".

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me."

He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup, instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway".

He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: Go in Peace. You Have Just Been Screwed By The Sisters of St. Francis. Serves You Right, You Sinner!