SoutheasternOhioPreps.com

MILITARY INTEL (an oxymoron)

Stenciled on the side of the M2 rocket launcher, commonly called a "bazooka"-an arrow toward the muzzle, with the words "Aim Toward Enemy"

Submarine sailor to smart-aleck navy aviator making fun of the "steel coffin" sub..."There's a lot more planes lost in the sea than subbies lost in the sky."

Friendly fire - ISNT!

If the enemy is within range-SO ARE YOU!

When in doubt-empty the magazine.

Once the pin is pulled & the clip released, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

BubbleGum Tiger wrote:Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

I see what you did there!

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

What do you call Adolf Hitler with a Potato in his pants?

A Dictator!

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

_______________________________________ ______________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

Q: What's the difference between cocaine and Obama?

A: One's a drug; the other's a dope.

BubbleGum Tiger wrote:Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Now that is the truth

^He's right ya know?

Blonde:(To 911 dispatcher) "Send the fire Dept. quick! My house is on fire!"

Dispatcher: "How do they get there?"

Blonde: "In that big red truck, I hope!"

I walked into a Muslim bookstore & asked the clerk, "Do you have that Donald Trump book about banning Muslems from the USA?"

"Get out & stay out!"

"Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"

Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What are your green fees?
Staff: 38 dollars.
Caller: Does that include golf?

A doctor from France says: “In France, the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."

A German doctor comments quietly: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

A Russian doctor says boasting: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The U.S. doctor laughs and answers loudly immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA , about 7 years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him President of the United States, and now....... the whole darn country is looking for work."

Late Night Phone Call to the Veterinarian

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after
her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs
apart.

However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and
moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in
obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs
mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it
was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male
lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"Just worked on me," he replied.